I've been on Twitter for a while now, and have not found a whole lot of use for it, either as a Twitterer or as a receiver of Tweets, except for the freshet of work that comes from the inestimable Roger Ebert. But recently someone I follow retweeted a line from Conan O'Brien, and it occurred to me exactly what this technology was invented for: comedians. Steven Wright could do his entire act in 140-character bursts.
So I went around and dug up a bunch of comics to add to my Twitter feed. Here's some of the stuff I've found:
Conan O'Brien I found a huge design flaw in my new iPhone. People get angry when I talk on it during a funeral.
Sarah Silverman I will be polite and respectful to the homeless & mentally insane until the day I am murdered.
Craig Ferguson Fell off slide at amusement park in VT. Minor injuries. This must be how Fabio felt after being hit by a goose. Current mood- neosprorriny
Andy Richter Getting divorced sounds awful. Except for that part where you get your own apartment.
Andy Borowitz Trapped Miners Speak: 'At Least We're Not Stuck in a Jennifer Aniston Movie'
I'd love to add more to my feed, but some of the other people I looked for just didn't work out. For instance:
Steve Martin: On Twitter since last August. Six total tweets.
Chris Rock: On Twitter since March 2007. Two total tweets.
Steven Wright: On Twitter since June 2007. Five total tweets.
Bill Maher: On Twitter; only tweets about his upcoming schedule or self-righteous platitudes like Mosque near Ground Zero?Sure, but don't kid yourself that any religion is ever about diversity or tolerance. "Interfaith weddings"also dumb. Never tweets funny.
Emo Phillips: Not on Twitter.
David Cross: Not on Twitter.
Zack Galifianakis: Not on Twitter.
Come on, guys! You're missing out on a chance to amuse me!