Friday, August 27, 2010


I've been on Twitter for a while now, and have not found a whole lot of use for it, either as a Twitterer or as a receiver of Tweets, except for the freshet of work that comes from the inestimable Roger Ebert. But recently someone I follow retweeted a line from Conan O'Brien, and it occurred to me exactly what this technology was invented for: comedians. Steven Wright could do his entire act in 140-character bursts.

So I went around and dug up a bunch of comics to add to my Twitter feed. Here's some of the stuff I've found:

Conan O'Brien I found a huge design flaw in my new iPhone. People get angry when I talk on it during a funeral.

Sarah Silverman I will be polite and respectful to the homeless & mentally insane until the day I am murdered.

Craig Ferguson Fell off slide at amusement park in VT. Minor injuries. This must be how Fabio felt after being hit by a goose. Current mood- neosprorriny

Andy Richter Getting divorced sounds awful. Except for that part where you get your own apartment.

Andy Borowitz Trapped Miners Speak: 'At Least We're Not Stuck in a Jennifer Aniston Movie'

I'd love to add more to my feed, but some of the other people I looked for just didn't work out. For instance:

Steve Martin: On Twitter since last August. Six total tweets.
Chris Rock: On Twitter since March 2007. Two total tweets.
Steven Wright: On Twitter since June 2007. Five total tweets.
Bill Maher: On Twitter; only tweets about his upcoming schedule or self-righteous platitudes like Mosque near Ground Zero?Sure, but don't kid yourself that any religion is ever about diversity or tolerance. "Interfaith weddings"also dumb. Never tweets funny.
Emo Phillips: Not on Twitter.
David Cross: Not on Twitter.
Zack Galifianakis: Not on Twitter.

Come on, guys! You're missing out on a chance to amuse me!


  1. it is odd since most of these comedians' finest gags are twitter-size for sure.

    Steve Martin: “I guess some people have a way with words, and other people, not have way.” (74 characters!)

    Emo Phillips: “She reminded me of the Sphinx. She was mysterious, eternal, and her nose was shot off by French soldiers.” (107!)

  2. I have a fair number of standups and writers.

    You would probably like Ken Tremendous, who runs Parks and Rec, and was part of the Fire Joe Morgan crew and so says funny/smart things about sports.

    Mindy Kaling's pretty great too.

  3. Also, Kanye West has the funniest twitter feed going.

    "Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I'm looking to have a conference... not until I get the table though"